You’re really not that complicated.
Using your hair as the sole reason whether or not you date interracially makes you look like a FOOL. Not only is it annoying for those of who have to listen to you, but it is embarrassing for the few black women who are not hung up about their hair.
You’ve basically reduced yourself to stuff growing out of your head. Forget about your good looks, intelligence, sense of humor and hourglass figure. All that matters is that non-black men don’t understand that braiding your hair takes hours or that your hair can stand up by itself w/o hairspray. Yeah, that doesn’t sound ridiculous at all.
Dad:*opens wallet* “How much is this going to cost?”
-later that day-
Me: “What do you think?”
Dad:”uhh….looks nice daughter(Nigerian accent “daw-tah”)….is it 6pm yet? I think Jim Lehrer is on PBS.”
Me: *rolls eyes and leaves the room*
White men, Asian men, Hispanic men, etc, do not know anything about your hair and NEITHER do black men or African men. I don’t think my dad has asked me in my 20+ years on this earth about the process of my hair. As long as I looked presentable and he wasn’t spending too much money, he nor my brothers gave it a second thought.
If you do not want to date interracially, fine. Don’t resort to making up excuses that serve to further “other” black women and make us seem more complicated than we are. Your hair and the trials and tribulations you have with it should not not effect who you date…unless your limiting yourself to the black collective. I can give you a list of the extensive things my Caucasian and Asian girlfriends do to make themselves look nice, including their time-consuming hair routines. I repeat, we are not anymore complicated than other groups of women on this planet.
This is EXACTLY why it’s important for black women to see men as INDIVIDUALS and vet them. How I know you aren’t doing that?
Take a non-issue like hair. Many of you automatically think that men who look like you are going to “understand your hair woes” or you won’t have to explain anything to them. You assume because you share a skin-shade or history with someone that it automatically means they “get you”. LIES. This hair nonsense is just one item on a VERY LONG list that black women use to limit themselves from potential partners.
We aren’t children anymore. No one is forcing you to go along with the status quo. Black women who want to live well need to start analyzing that kind of bizarre behavior and understand how it weakens our collective image. Stop projecting your (hair) issues on someone else. Black women who want to be free are going to have to disconnect themselves from that kind of madness.
When you start to recognize the ideologies that are not conducive to your success and wellbeing, you can start to seek out and create positive and nurturing environments for yourself.
Live Well!