Council on Contemporary Families: Myths About College-Educated Women and Marriage

The marriage prospects of educated women have been hotly debated in the media in recent weeks. Are highly educated women more likely to wind up single than their less-educated counterparts? Would they do better to settle for a “good enough” man before they miss their chance altogether? Or are educated women now MORE likely to marry then their less-educated counterparts? But if so, do higher expectations make them more discontented with marriage?

In a briefing paper prepared for the Council on Contemporary Families, economists Betsey Stevenson and Adam Isen crunch the data from 1950 to 2008 and come up with some surprising findings. Yes, college-educated white women (unlike college-educated black women) are less likely to marry than their less-educated counterparts. But when they do marry, they are less likely to divorce, so that by age 40, they are MORE likely to be married than other women, many of whom have already divorced.

In addition, college-educated women who are unmarried at age 40 are twice as likely to marry in the next 10 years as unmarried 40-year-olds with just a high school degree. Educated women are also more likely to report themselves happy in their marriages than less-educated women.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE REPORT

  • Contrary to Conventional Wisdom, African-American women do not face a “marriage penalty” when they acquire higher education. In fact, black women who have graduated from college or completed some college are more likely to marry than less-educated groups of black women.
  • For white women, the situation is more complicated. White women who complete college remain slightly less likely to marry than most other white women, although they are now more likely to marry than women who never finished high school. At age 40, the time after which sociologists have traditionally considered a never-married woman a lifelong single, 86 percent of college-educated white women have married, compared to 90 percent of women with some college, 88 percent of high school graduates, and 81 percent of high school dropouts.

What do you think?

There is a great discussion going on at Alee’s A Lofty Existence about One Night Stands.

One of the posters made comments similar to the one below and I literally fell out of my chair.  She is describing my experience to a tee with these types of men and I wanted to know if that was anyone elses experience or someone you know.

The commenter said:

“….I noticed a nasty little trait that all of the liberal guys seemed to share… they were just as hypocritical and just as judgmental and just as closed-minded about women’s choices as the “that guys” of the world. Except the judgment came when a woman waited “too long” (which usually meant past two dates) versus not waiting “long enough.” And yes, those “liberals” never hesitated to then use their “liberal” thinking to tell such women (like me) who were waiting for more than two weeks/three weeks/two dates/three dates how close-minded, prudish, retroactive, game-playing, old-fashioned we were and how we would be soooo much happier if we stopped “restricting” ourselves.

and said this about today’s entitled men:

I like talking to older people. By older, I mean, over 60. Some couples are still together, some aren’t. But there’s frequently a common theme in the story of how they got married… the man was very attracted and many times, the woman barely knew he existed. Or didn’t want to know.

I’ve heard stories of men who went to the same restaurant every week because the waitress they liked worked there, and that was the only way they could try to get to know her. Or the boy who tried to sit by the girl he liked in church every week. Or the one who offered to carry his favorite girl’s books in the hallway whenever they were going to the same classes. Or the guy who went to the store where the girl work to make up things he needed to buy.

The women gave off ZERO signals that they were even interested in these men, but the men kept at it. And sex at this juncture? Ha, get real. They would have been THRILLED to get a mere kiss on the cheek from the women they desired.

Meanwhile, these are the typically the stories behind the people celebrating their 50th and 60th wedding anniversaries today.

Now, I realize that things were different “back then” in the sense that most women eventually needed to get married ASAP or they’d be “old maids” with no support, so they probably broke down more easily and married the pesky guy because he seemed nice enough. I obviously don’t advocate this tactic today for a particular man!

But the point of my story is that it seems ridiculously laughable for today’s more “evolved” man to act as if he’s going through great agony because he can’t have sex with a woman that he likes within a short period of time or if he doesn’t get a kiss on the first date, he’s completely out of sorts. I mean really, what are y’all? Animals? Seriously, have humans lost the characteristics that separate us from the animal kingdom when it comes to relationships and become little more than dogs ready to hump in the street?

The finer points of communication, flirting, courtship, mental stimulation, etc., between a man and a woman have been replaced by men wanting women to act as if they’re in heat and then the humping can commence… the more this conversation continues, the more I notice the extreme contradiction between the idea being put forth that having sex “whenever” is very liberal and progressive, but yet, the almost fanatical need these men have for immediate sexual and physical contact in order to build a relationship with a woman comes off as ridiculously base and animalistic.

And… entitled…

As far as I’m concerned, it’s just another form of the caveman mentality — just with a liberal twist that makes it sound “progressive” and “enlightened.” “

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Why?  Leave a comment on my blog if you have more to say :)

Does it seem like the only empowerment of women discussed in the media is about us feeling ‘empowered’ to sleep around with many men and not be judged or feel bad about it?

We don’t spend nearly enough time talking about, for example, strategies women can use in various industries in order to progress in their careers. 

It’s either talk about sex or obesity.  ”Women can be as fat as they like and should not be judged.”

Why are these the main issues that come up when talking about equality or empowerment for women?

Pan-African Leaders: Did They Fool You?

"Black men have been charting their own paths towards self aggransidenment while black male identified women try to convince other black women that ‘we’ black men and woman, are really on the same path and we only need to be patient and understanding.

If pan africanist women want to be taken seriously they might do well to splinter off from anything to do with black pan africanist men, because then they will make more sense than what is being made at this point with Pan africanism trying to merge love of all things white and light with talk of black uplift. Even a half wit can see something totally odd with that.

Those pan africanist women who think we black women who use our brains and God given judgement are fools and lost and in white supremacist grip, well I throw this one wider and say….. Whose the fool here, Judge for yourselves!”

Read the entire post at DateAWhiteGuy.

(LOVE the comments in this post. Some bw are starting to wake up :)

No Wedding No Womb (NWNW)

A comment I read on a BWE site concerning the NWNW campaign:

I find the “slut shaming” talk to be strange. How does discouraging OOW (out of wedlock) childrearing amount to “shaming” a woman? What many of these feminists don’t understand is that these OOW women have already been shamed! Really, what bigger shame is there than to be cast off as some “baby mama”, abandoned and left to care for a child on your own in permanent poverty???

Some of these women and girls self esteem is so low that they think marriage is a “fantasy” or is “for white people.” They think that because of their race, or their looks, or their situation, or because of some bad choices they have made in the past, that living an underclass life is all they deserve. So they have already been shamed! The DBRBM (Damaged Beyond Repair Black Men) that knocked them up also shamed them when they refused to marry them or take care of their child.

The BWE movement is telling these women that they deserve better! They deserve to be loved and cared for. Their children deserve to be in a loving two parent family where they can thrive.

The OOW apologists are the ones who are shaming these women, they are the ones telling them they are simply mules and breeders. They are the ones telling them that marriage is for other people.

However, that is not what the NMNW campaign is about as I see it. It isn’t about slut-shaming; to me, it is an imperative conversation needed in the black community and that’s where mainstream bloggers get confused. Sometimes the conversation isn’t about them. Sometimes separate communities cannot afford to converge agendas simply because one tends to get subsumed while the other engulfs. And that’s what often happens when minority issues contradict mainstream’s perspectives and objectives.”

Black women who want to thrive and position themselves for success in the global community must analyze the emotional, psychological, and financial woes levied on children from single parent homes. You need to make the decision not to contribute to the 70% of black children born OOW.

If you would like to learn more about the NWNW campaign and see what others are saying, click here, here, here, and here

Questions, comments, concerns??? Leave me a message in the ask box :)

Live Well!

The “F” Word: Femininity v. Feminism Battle For Dominance In Women’s Lives

The best thing black women and girls can do to uplift their image is to become their best selves.
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